"Shade Escapes No One in a Salon," or "Maybe They All Had Other Engagements,"

a short Christmas Miracle play where my mom convinced my dad to get pedicure with her, and all the F's to give were left in the foot basin.

Scene: A Mani/Pedi Spa in Fairfax, VA on Christmas Eve. A woman is holding a glass of wine and kikiing really hard with the other patrons.

Woman: (to another patron) Oh, me? I'm going to my ex's family's house for Christmas. They just make such great food. My daughter and her boyfriend have their own plans.

Patron: Oh, wow! How long have they've been together?

Woman: For a long time--they've lived together for about 8 years.

Patron: (Lights pulse.) 8 years?! Is he planning on putting a ring on it?

Woman: I think it'll happen next year. You can't rush love. I mean, I've been divorced since '93, but it's ok now, because I have 3 boyfriends and a situation on the side.

My Dad: (turning to me) I mean...really? (Lights dim.) I guess all of them were busy with other engagements.

The end.