“Awaiting the Proposal,” or “Ask Him!”

A Thanksgiving play when all the Fs to give were set on auto-reply until Monday.

Scene: Twist Bar in South Beach. A man who had a bit too much to drink approaches me and my friend Seth.

Man: (Making a duck face.) Hi. Where are you from?

Seth: Oh, we’re visiting from New York.

Man: That’s soo cool! Can you guess where I’m from? Actually, I’ll tell you. Do know where Brentwood, California is?

Seth: I think that’s near LA right?

Man: Yes! Wait...are you guys...(makes another duck face) together?

Me: (Sensing stranger danger) Umm...yes. We’ve been together for...years.

Man: That’s so wonderful. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. You should ask him why he hasn’t proposed yet.

(Man’s boyfriend walks up and hands him a shot.)

Man: Thanks, babe. (Looking at us, whispering:) Ask him. 

(Man promptly falls, first backwards, then forwards, dropping his shot. Lights dim as other patrons are helping him up, while his boyfriend stares at him blankly.)

Man: (Looking at us) ASK HIM!!

The end.