“Not the Best Sales Strategy,” or “You Could Start with Wearing a Mask,”

A short play set on a Saturday when all the Fs to give were still in the middle of a pandemic.

Scene: A Train, Downtown Bound.  A man in medical scrubs and 2 bags of PPE walks on the train.  He is wearing a mask, but it’s hanging on his chin below his face.

Man: Ladies and Gentlemen!  Did you walk out the house and forget your safety supplies?  I got hand sanitizer, gloves, and masks!

Passenger: You could start with wearing your own.

(A couple of other passengers silently cackle.)

Man: First of all, I work at the hospital, so I can’t get it.  Second of all, you’re clearly not from New York.  You won’t have to worry about a mask if you keep talking to me like that.

(All of the passengers are now drawn into the interaction, and are visibly alert and disgusted.)

Another passenger: Oh.

(Lights dim as Man realizes that he’s lost any viability of making a sale as the subway doors open.)

Man: (Slides up his mask.) Umm, y’all have a nice day, and stay safe!

(The End.)