“A Complicated Coffee Order,” or “I Want it Like Dunkin’ Donuts Makes It,”

a short play set on a Thursday when all the Fs to give were still trying to get used to their usual routine after the holidays.

Scene: A Starbucks in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. A Woman, carefully studying the menu approaches the barista at the counter.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks. How can I help you ma’am?

Woman: Oh, hmmm. I’m looking for coffee, but...I want it like Dunkin’ Donuts makes it.

Barista: (Looking at Woman) Oh, girl.

(He quickly catches himself realizing what he said.) Ok, would you like it iced? Hot? With milk? Sweetened? What size?

Woman: Well, hot...and medium? And sweet, but not too sweet, and not like...a lot of milk.

Barista: Ok. Did you want regular milk or half and half? I think they have almond milk there...we have that too as an option.

Woman: (Shakes her head.) I mean, however Dunkin’ does it is fine.

Barista: Well, another option is that I can make you a plain black coffee and you can use the bar over there to add milk and sugar to your liking.

Woman: That actually sounds great! Thank you!

Barista: Ok! (Shouts to coffee bar) One grande Pike Roast.

(Lights dim.)

Woman: Can you make sure that’s a medium black coffee?

(The end.)